Wow, 12 parts.

Hmm, maybe things could be condensed, but I’ve worked at this job for 6 years and don’t recall details that I have not written down or shared with a friend over text. Once I’ve gone through the old stuff, it will be easier to write in more details when the new shenanigans happen and they still very much happen, oh boy.

Alright, now onto the following madness…

I come back from a few days off, ask some colleagues what happened on this days, y’know, normal co-worker stuff. And I get told about a near stabbing.

Basically, Crazy Guy stole beer and when the Security Guard went to apprehend him, the guy pulled out a knife and tried to stab him in the neck. Security Guard dodged and the guy tried to stab his hands. A fight ensues and a shopper manages to kick the knife away from the thief and help subdue the nutjob. No injuries on the Security Guard or the shopper, as far as I know.

One Cashier was manning the SCO while the Admin was on lunch break and three teenagers ran out of there, without paying for the expensive candies. I know the Security Guard got the boys faces on camera and heard talk of contacting their school, but am not informed what happened with them after. Obviously, but still, let me be curious!

One of our few male Cashiers was working normally, only for a crazy lady to walk up to him, throw money at his face and demand he exchange it for smaller. Which we can’t do, on orders of the Higher Ups, enforced by the Internal Security (Stores/Parent Company security force, not the same as Security Guards who are contracted from a third party company) and their nutcase of a leader. She went off like mad when got told that. Had to be forced to leave by the Security Guard. It was a shitshow.

Three ladies got into a fight. Something about getting bumped into? I didn’t see the start, just that hands started flying and shouting began. But it was 2-on-1. Security Guard tried to stop them from escalating and one lady tried to can-can the other in the face while she had her head down. Somebodies bag even flew from their hands and into the Butchers. Pretty sure one of the girls there dragged it behind the counter for safekeeping, because it was not looking like peace is an option. I remember seeing police officers later, but not how it ended.

One evening, I have released SCO Admin for a brief break – and not even 3 minutes later, Security Guard is grappling with this guy, ripping his jacket open and out spills 4 bottles of alcohol, a package of beet salad and ready-made lunch with rice. The one with rice went splat on the ground and spilled, the plastic packaging not meant for such violence.

That scene, along with Security Guard shouting at the guy for thinking he can trick her (then me remembering that I had seen him an hour earlier just walking out without anything with Security Guard trailing after him like a hound on a hunt) made me guffaw, making the thief look at me with wide eyes, before Security Guard just dragged him away, where the cops eventually took him.

You wouldn't believe how many people were just about to step into rice and sauce because they were too busy looking into their phones, before I exclaimed "watch your step!" They leap like fucking cats around the spillage. Ridiculous.

Another night, Security Guard 2 and Security Guard 1 (it was his day off, but that man does not stay away from the store) catch an alcohol thief with the help of the Alcohol Store Owner and drag him back into the store. The Thief's Wife is screaming at them and hitting Security Guard 1 with her bag on the head, shouting at them both for 'assaulting' her husband. Everyone by the registers stopped and watched the scene – I saw a SEA-guy on a video call, telling his buddy what was going on - like, it was a lot. Just stopping and starring at the scene of this clearly drunk man rambling about his rights, his wife shrieking that they are breaking his human rights (still, what?) and Security Guard 1 looking as done with life as a man can look. The wife ran when the cops came – so much yelling about rights, what about your vows, lady?

One Floor Worker decided to play Tokyo Drift with the big rollers that had products that needed to be put in shelves on it. I saw him running at turning just barely from hitting the vegetable fridge - one with glass doors - in the morning and thought ‘yikes‘. Later he had crashed into the beer shelves, denting the roller, shattering some bottles and making a noise so loud everyone in the store heard it.

He got yelled at by the director.

By the entrance of the store, we have a green box for people to throw in used batteries and old tech. I heard one morning Security Guard really ripping into one man who decided to check the box out for something to sell. We even have a sign above saying to not do that and the Security Guards Post is by the entrance. You'd think they would decide not to mess with the box, but no. Even kids do it, I don’t get it!

Random man tried to put his aluminum covered food into the Bakery's microwave – it's meant to quickly heat ready made food the Bakery also sells or to warm up some pastries that taste better warm, so only for the Bakery clients, which he was not. He was stopped and yelling ensued. He yelled out things like "If I was a Ukrainian, you would be bending back over to please me!" Dude get dragged out by the Security Guard.

I did get some candy – one from a granny that was happy I kept her stuff at the register, while she ran back home to get her wallet and a small handful from an Asian Lady, who was happy I told her to 'have a nice evening'. I also received promise of candy from a grandma that had forgotten her the present bag for her grandchild and ran back 4 hours later, out of breath and incredibly stressed until I gave it back to her.

There is still lady, when I started working, she was just 91. Now she is 97, a very old age and she still keeps coming to the store, shopping and carrying her basket and bags, all by herself. She is our usual customer. She one day mentioned that she has a twin sister, but that said sister can't walk. So now I wonder if she always telling me her age and 'that she can still go to the store with no issues' is some dig at her sister. Maybe not, maybe being glad that she can still do stuff by herself and she’s just pep-talking about that.

Our store ended the contract with the usual janitor company and then we got a new one. They have better tools, I can tell you that, their big Vacuum does not break down and it is by far quieter. But despite being veterans of the job, like one of them said she was a janitor for a decade, even they seem surprised by some of the crazy folk we have here. Maybe we are on some kind of fault line for weirdness.

Also, an old music class teacher from kindergarten recognized me by my voice. I don't know what that says about my voice box.

Alright, Part 12, complete. Soon enough, Part 13! Stay tuned, critters!